Addiction

This week was a rough week as we said goodbye to my aunt who passed away this weekend of a drug overdose. It was heartbreaking to get that phone call but wasn't a shocking phone call. It's something for years I always knew would come. I really thought I would be prepared but I wasn't. 

Let me tell you about my aunt. She was hilarious! She was stubborn. She was a hard worker. She loved Jesus but could tell you the dirtiest joke you ever heard. She was the life of the party. She was kind. She would give you the shirt off her back.  

And she was a devoted Christian! She loved Jesus and I remember the mornings when I stayed with her always started off with her bible study and coffee.

But my aunt had a horrible drug addiction that she has had for years, yes you read that right! My drug addicted aunt was also a god fearing Christian. 

Addiction- the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

synonyms: dependency, dependence, habit, problem More

devotion to, dedication to, obsession with, infatuation with, passion for, love of, mania for, enslavement to

See addiction has always run DEEP in my family. We have all battled with it at some point and time. We fought the hard fight. Some of us won but as sad as it is to say... Some lost!

People have a misconception of addiction. Thinking you can only be addict to drugs, and that all drug addicts will steal from you and kill you... But in all reality you can be addicted to anything. Sex,drugs, money.... Or you could be addicting to gasp SHOPPING, shoes, cars, money, FOOD! Lots of things. 

I still to this day have an addiction to shoes. The high I get when I get a brand new pair of shoes is a problem. I love them and back on the day would spend a whole pay check on shoes alone. I've gotten better about it through the years but it's still can be a problem. I know sounds silly right? But for me it was a real problem.

 

When we finally said goodbye to my aunt I cried and my heart broke. I just couldn't understand how this women who has always taught me about strength and to stand up to anything couldn't stand up to her own disease. But it's just that a disease. I will never understand. I wish I could have helped her fight harder. I wish she would have known how worth it she was. 

 During the service something was said that hit the nail on the head about addiction.... 

Although Tanya was a great person. Loyal, kind but yet a pistol. A god fearing, bible reading Christian. Just couldn't get the hook out of her mouth. It always just kept pulling her back. No matter how far out she swam from it... It always in the end pulled her back. 

Wow just wow! I had never heard addiction explained like that but my god how true. A hook you just can't get rid of.

As much as I miss her  I can only pray that she finally found the peace she so desperately tried to find.  

And there is no doubt in my mind she is walking in heaven with the man she loved with her whole heart. 

Until we meet again-ASH